Why is it always about weight!

I warn you from now, this is definitely not going to be a happy blog post!

I've always suffered with weight issues since I can remember, started out in life as a very skinny child but that soon changed from the age 10. As a kid it never bothered me, I always had friends around me and luckily I was never bullied or laughed at due to my weight.

When I hit 15, things changed however, I became obsessed with my weight and eventually turned anorexic. The weight dropped off after that and I was in love with being skinny!! Others around me were very concerned however and after ending up sick quite a lot and always tired things had to change. The only downfall with this was that more weight piled on me which wrecked my head, I was also going out with a guy at the time who had met me whilst I was skinny and who was definitely not happy with this weight change.

My self esteem issued started mostly because of this relationship,  I was constantly told that I was unattractive and hideous looking. There was almost never a day where I wasn't told to lose weight by this person, that the very sight of me disgusted them. Well eventually this toxic relationship ended and I got my life on track and my weight down once again! However no matter the size I became my self esteem issues were always there and are still there to this day. I wish there was an easy solution to change this but I haven't found one yet.

After that I was doing quite well and was happy with the size I was until about three years ago!! I had stopped taking the pill, something I had been on for over 10 years and my weight would just not stop going up for me. Eventually I went to see a doctor since I knew that this wasn't normal since i hadn't altered my eating habits at all to bring on this sudden weight gain. This is when I was given the horrible news that I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome). A condition with no cure!

Now many women suffer from this condition, however the symptoms vary for everyone. I was unfortunate since the main symptom I'm experiencing is weight gain. Since I am also obsessed with my weight this is the worst kind of news I've ever received. Doctors told me it could be rectified with medication and diets but this is where it stops being an easy solution, although weight gain aids with the symptoms,  the condition itself stops you from losing weight. Thus I've tried personal trainers, no carb diets... anything you could possible think of and in doing so have not lost any weight. For some people weight loss is possible with this condition and for others it is a lot harder.

I decided when I was diagnosed with this condition that I would not let it be an excuse for me not to lose weight and I swore I would never give up trying to lose weight, however this can sometimes be so hard when you are not seeing any results. Having said that I've stayed true to my word and I won't give up trying to lose this damn weight. I previously mentioned that there was medication to help with PCOS, problem is this medication does not agree with me and I'm in a great deal of pain any time I take them, so what to do?

Well all I can say is that no one should let an incurable condition defeat them or stop them from there goal. Whatever happens and however demotivated you become you have to just persevere which is a lot easier said that done but somehow I will succeed and when I do I'll be back on here with my success and the method behind such success!! I just have to believe that it is possible.... somehow!